THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A MAN WHO LOVES HIS COUNTRY
He grew up just chilling on the internet with all his gaming friends
but like his friends liked to complain
and they were all like “Man this country sucks!”
And he was like “Hey this is the best country, Canada is basically an extension, Mexicans are poor, and try saying that in a lot of other countries they’d just cut your head off and someone else could pick the rice”
And they were like “Lol red neck fgt why don’t you just marry America”
And then he thought of something.
Straights were allowed to get married.
In a few states gays were allowed to get married.
That bitch from that documentary married that Roller Coster
Why couldn’t he marry what he loved most?
He took it to Congress,
All the Republicans were like “We represent this country so if you marry it, you are dude, so that makes us gay. So no. SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE- oh look those two messes from The Bachelor just got divorced after 2 weeks.”
The liberals were like, “Oh kawaii yoai do it do it.”
But some others were like, “We don’t think you love the country enough. We can’t allow this to just happen and you divorce old glory in three weeks.”
Challenge was accepted.
Congress watched in horror as this man made love to the flag like no one had ever made love to it before.